A Monster of a Grouch
by Flaming Eagle
Summary: The Smurflings have always been terrified of Grouchy. He's just so…unsmurfy. But when the Smurflings end up stranded in Grouchy's house on Halloween Night, will they find out that there's more to this monster of a smurf than meets the eye? Or can you really judge some books by their cover? SnappyxSassette pairing.
1. Red Eyes

**Well, Here's the first chapter of my first fanfic! I hope you like it! I'd love any advice or friendly criticisms! Thanks! :D The smurfs Belong to Peyo, not me *cries***

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It was a bright, sunny day in Smurf Village. The Smurflings were playing on the edge of the smurfball field, while Handy was inventing a new exercise machine for Hefty. Painter was busy making a sculpture of Smurfette while Harmony was scraping his fingernails on a chalkboard, screeching at the top of his lungs like a demented parrot. At least, that's what it sounded like. Every smurf was outside and enjoying the unnaturally warm October day. _Almost_ every smurf, that is.

Leaning against the wall of a purple and blue mushroom house, the solitary figure of a smurf could be seen. He was cloaked in shadows, arms crossed across his bare chest, a scowl permanently etched onto his face. Grouchy Smurf had his head turned toward the ground, a distant look in his eyes. No smurf smiled at him as they passed, no one bothered to say hello. He stood so still, he could easily be mistaken for one of Painter's statues.

That is, until a rubber ball knocked him in the back of the head, causing him to fall flat on his face. "Hey, you! Toss us back the ball!" The Smurflings, not bothering to apologize, stood a few meters away, waiting for whomever they had struck to return their toy.

They nearly screamed, however, when they noticed it was Grouchy, who lifted his face off of the ground and turned to glare at them. Snappy, who had been the one to speak, was completely horrified. They recoiled as Grouchy slowly picked himself up, grabbed the ball, and glowered at the Smurflings. Truthfully, they weren't just scared of Grouchy. They were completely _t__errified_ of him; the way he seemed to appear out of nowhere, how he spoke only to voice his hatred of all the things that others found smurfy.

The way the shadows he lurked in made him appear to be half-dead, and now his eyes seemed to glint red if you looked him right in the eye, though why anyone would even consider doing so was lost on the Smurflings.

The poor children closed their eyes as Grouchy began to walk towards them, ball in hand. Their hearts nearly stopped when his footsteps grew silent; they could hear Grouchy's deep, slow breaths inches from their faces. They huddled together, shaking, and prepared to be eaten alive, have their intestines pulled up their throats, be slowly ripped to shreds. There was a soft _"thump" _before things became quiet once again.

They continued to cower silently for what felt like hours before Nat decided to cautiously open one of his eyes and look around. Surprised, he shook the others, and Slouchy slowly lifted his head. Grouchy was gone, the ball resting where it had landed when grouchy had dropped it. Nat and Slouchy turned to tell Snappy and Sassette that it was safe, only to cover their mouths in an attempt to stifle their giggles.

Snappy had slid his hands around Sassette's slender waist, while she had flung her arms around his neck, pressing their cowering forms close together. Nat and Slouchy finally both gave in to temptation and burst into laughter at the romantic sight. This caused Snappy and Sassette's eyes to fling open to find that their bodies were intertwined, lips inches apart. Their faces burned a deep crimson as they leapt apart from each other, disgust and embarrassment written on their faces. "Hey, you smurfs, stop laughing!" Snappy howled, still blushing. "It's not funny!"

"Yeah it is," Nat managed through a fresh wave of giggles. "It's smurfin' hilarious!" Their laughter was abruptly replaced with deep moans of pain when Sassette reached down and knocked both of their heads together, _hard_. "Say anything to any smurf and I'll hang you from a tree branch by your underwear!" she yelled. Nat groaned and meekly nodded before picking up the bright red ball from its resting place.

"Where do you think he went?" he asked suddenly. The Smurflings became silent for several minutes as they pondered Slouchy's question. "I don't know, and I don't wanna find out," Snappy replied at last. "I'm getting outta here before that creep comes back!"

The four kids turned and sped off to the other side of the village, where they thought they would be safe. None of them noticed the pair of glowing red eyes hidden behind a nearby smurfberry bush, watching their every move.

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**Well, How was that for the first chapter? Is it any good for my first fanfic? R&R!**


	2. A Talk With Tailor

**Well, here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!**

**I do not own the smurfs. *Curls up in corner and cries***

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"Ouch! Hey, watch it, Tailor!"

"Well Snappy, maybe if you'd smurf still, you wouldn't get poked!"

"I am standing still! You just need to watch where you're smurfin' those needles."

Inside of Tailor's house stood two smurflings in new Halloween costumes and a very irritated smurf.

Sassette had left a long time ago with her new pink princess dress. Nat was picking at the loose threads on his pirate outfit. Slouchy had gone with Sassette the moment his ghost costume had been finished. Nat had been waiting for Snappy's Don Smurfo outfit to be completed for the last hour, and was bored out of his mind. Snappy and Tailor's bickering, while funny at first, was beginning to get annoying.

"Tailor, finish it already! At the pace you're going I'm gonna be Don Smurfo for _next_ Halloween!"

Nat couldn't take it anymore. If something didn't happen soon, he was going to explode.

So, he made something happen.

"Aw, don't worry Snappy. Tailor will have you're costume done in time to go trick-or-treating with Sassette." Snappy's head snapped up, a look of horror flashing briefly across his face before it was covered with a neutral expression. Tailor raised his eyebrows, eyes never leaving his work.

"What do you mean by that, Nat?"

"Oh Snappy, I think you know what I mean."

"Actually, I don't."

"Well, I can understand why you wouldn't want to admit it, you think confessing your feelings would ruin your macho reputation. Of course, I bet that's one of the things Sassette likes about you, you try to act tough."

"How much do you enjoy breathing Nat? 'Cause I could strangle you anytime you want."

At this point Tailor had stopped his work and was watching The Smurflings argue, slightly amused. However, he had to use all of his mental willpower to prevent himself from laughing when Nat made his next comment. "Oh, so you and Sassette didn't decide to try and kiss each other yesterday?""

A pale blush covered Snappy's face as he exclaimed, "We weren't gonna kiss!"

"Fine then, you were romantically cuddling while standing up," Nat simply laughed at Snappy's murderous glair before continuing, "With your arms wrapped tight around her waist as she flung her arms around your neck, pulling your bodies close-"

Tailor couldn't keep it in any longer, he burst out laughing in a manner that could put a hyena to shame. "Wait, wait," he managed once he had (finally) calmed down, "You had a _smurfy _moment? With Sassette? That's smurfin' hilarious!"

Snappy glanced over and slightly loosened his newly acquired grip on Nat's neck. "Hey, if Grouchy hadn't been there to scare us, then that wouldn't have-" Snappy's hands released their hold entirely as he slapped his hands over his mouth. No one was supposed to know just how much Grouchy really terrified The Smurflings. It would be totally humiliating for the other smurfs to find out they were afraid of some smurf who spent his days pouting like a two year old. Even if he gave a whole new definition to the word scary.

"Wait, you Smurflings are afraid of Grouchy?"

Snappy's mind raced to come up with a good explanation to give Tailor. He'd need something clever, and believable, that wouldn't make them look like a bunch of scaredy smurfs.

"He was very upset."

Snappy nearly slapped himself. _That_ was the best he could do? The pressure must have been smurfing with his brain. Both Smurflings were shocked when Tailor nodded understandingly. They had expected him to break down laughing again.

"Yes, he can be a bit intimidating, especially when he's angry. He acts a little strange around this time of year too."

"Strange, how?"

"Well Nat, he always locks himself in his house on Halloween night. No one can ever get him to come out, and he never lets anyone in."

"Really?"

"Yep. Greedy's even invented a contest. If any smurf can get Grouchy to open his door, he'll give them a smurfs weight in candy. So far no one's succeeded." Tailor frowned. "You must've forgotten about all that when you changed back into smurflings."

"Wow, imagine, eating my weight in candy," Snappy licked his lips, "I'd bet I could get my teeth to fall out in a week."

The smurfs continued to talk and laugh; completely unaware of the person crouched outside the window listening to their every word. "_So, the smurflings want to win Greedy's little contest do they? Perfect. Maybe it's time that door finally opened…" _The creature laughed, eyes blazing red.

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Well, was it good? R&R!


	3. A Plot, Revenge, And Swoofs

**Hey, Sorry I took so long to update, got up at like 6:30 to finish the next chapter today! I LOVE all of your awesome reviews! Keep 'em coming! **

**Disclamer: I do not own the smurfs. Yet.**

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Nat smurfling slowly walked around the old tree, picking up the walnuts that had fallen from its branches. Slouchy was off helping in Farmer's fields.

Papa had asked if Nat would gather some nuts for Greedy, so he could make walnut candies for Halloween. Even if the tree was rather close to Grouchy's house, Nat had been happy to agree, since he wanted some time away from Sassette and Snappy.

Not because he was scared or anything, though. He wasn't constantly looking over his shoulder, or jumping every time a bird called. His hands weren't shaking, and he wasn't sweating profusely.

Nope, not nervous at all.

For the thousandth time that day, Nat's thoughts wandered back to his conversation with Snappy at Tailor's house…

**Flashback:  
**_Nat and Snappy walked out of Tailor's mushroom, both still chuckling, neatly folded costumes tucked under their arms._

_"You know, I wouldn't mind smurfing my weight in candy. Think we should try our luck, Nat?"_

_"I'm not so sure it's a good idea. I'm just glad you're not angry."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_Nat raised his eyebrows, "Oh, you're just being real smurfy is all, not getting all smurfed about my comments about you and Sassette."_

_Snappy laughed, "Don't be silly Nat. You're not getting off the smurf that easily. In fact, I'm gonna go find Sassette right now. And when I do find her, you're smurfed," _

_Snappy laughed at Nat's horrified expression before running off. Nat just stood there, eyes wide._

**End Flashback**

Nat let out a yelp as an eagle screeched in the distance. He was jumping out of his skin at every sound. Even his shadow horrified him.

So imagine his terror when he turned around to find himself face to face with Snappy and Sassette, the smurfs who had spent the last few hours planning his slow and painful death.

There is no word in the human or smurf language to describe the horror he felt. Punctuation is the closest we can get. He felt ** #%)& !&%*^&%)!($!(*# !**

Snappy grinned at Nat. That wasn't a good sign.

"Hey, buddy!"

Nat frowned. Buddy? That was not what you call someone who you were about to smurf. Snappy slung his arm around Nat's shoulders while Sassette spoke, "So, Nat, how would you like to smurf your weight in candy?"

Nat goggled at Sassette. What kind of question was that? Why wasn't she furious? Nat looked up at the two hopefully. Maybe they had forgotten.

"Sassette and I have got a great plan to win that contest. You see, we send one of us to knock on the door. We'll tell him that baby's in trouble. He'll open the door to help baby of course. Then, see, when the one at the door gives the signal, we all jump out and run into his house. Then we run back out, and give Dentist Smurf a reason to stay employed. And we already got Slouchy to agree!"

Nat felt like jumping up and down like a crazed fan girl reading some weird fanfiction story. They had forgotten, he was free! He would live to go trick or treating, he would smurf another sunrise!

Nat beamed, "Well, that sounds like a smurfy plan Snappy, but…"

Snappy frowned. He did not like the word but. He also didn't like however, still, or nevertheless. Those words did nothing but sit themselves down in the middle of your totally awesome idea and laugh as they caused the whole thing to come to a screeching halt.

"Don't you think that breaking into a house and lying is going a bit too far? I would like to put Greedy's candy eating habits to shame as much as you would, but c'mon, the guy may be a little scary, but it's not like he's a demon or anything, right?"

He got no response. Nat frowned. He waved his hand in front of Snappy's face. "Hello, anyone home? Are you listening to me?"

Snappy didn't react. Neither did Sassette. Their gaze was locked on something in the distance. Nat turned, and felt his heart skip several beats.

There, in the blackened window of Grouchy's mushroom, was a pair of glowing red eyes. They didn't blink; they didn't move at all. They just stared at them.

Nat must have blinked, because suddenly the eyes were gone. They had vanished, leaving nothing behind.

Nat cleared his throat, "Or maybe he's a demon after all."

"Okay, now I _really_ need to see what's in that house."

Nat gave Snappy a weird look, "You want to go in the house that just had a monster looking out of the window? On Halloween? Are you insane or something?"

"No, in Sane is what you are when you jump into a river in Paris. Aren't you even the least bit curious?"

"No. Not at all."

"Aw, c'mon Nat, it'll be smurfy!"

"Sassette, if your idea of smurfy is to trespass into the home of some blood thirsty beast late at night, then I'll have to start questioning _your_ sanity as well. I say we tell the grown ups."

Sassette rolled her eyes, "You really think they'd believe us Nat? We'd just get a lecture about how looking into other smurfs windows is an invasion of privacy."

"You wouldn't leave your fellow smurflings hanging would you? Friends are supposed to smurf by each other."

Nat glared at Snappy, but knew the argument was won. He would never abandon his friends, ever. Even if they decided to pay a visit to the house of a demon on Halloween night. Maybe he should get some new friends.

"Fine, I'll be there. Just don't get yourself eaten or anything. I don't wanna have to be stuck with your guys' chores 'cause you _had_ to go get killed."

"Yay!" Sassette turned a cartwheel. Snappy smirked, "Now, for the second thing we came here for."

Nat looked confused.

"What, you didn't think I'd forgotten about your little comments at Tailor's house, did you?"

Nat became very horrified, very quickly.

Snappy cracked his knuckles, "Grab him, Sassette!"

**_Somewhere on Mars…_**

A swoof was cleaning his spaceship when suddenly an earsplitting shriek pierced the atmosphere, shattering the glass windows on his ship. As you can imagine, he was not happy.

"aeonfewset) !ssheru64($!(! OHwuioj1, sskehjbuy! Ohsdhoijb L((*hf84ssw4988Q &*Oge0gq!"

**Translation for those who do not speak swoof**: "Oh swoof, What in the swoof was that!? It swoofed the new windows that I spent all day waxing! My insurance had better cover this! I-"

**CENSORED**

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**Well, was it good? I'd love it if you'd R&R&R Read, Reveiw, and Recomend!**


	4. Trouble For Nat

Okay, this chappie is kinda creepy. I think. Tell me if it was scary and how I can make it and other chapters scarier!

Snappy came up, "FrittzyCrazy, we LOVED your review! It was Smurfy!"

Nat giggles. "Gee, thanks, Random Junk 13! I should have Snappy get revenge on me more often."

"What!?" Sassette cried, "No candy?"

"That's smurf!" Snappy yelled.

Papa smurf glared at the two. "Now, I'd say you to deserve that. If it didn't interfear with the story plot, I would proceed with Random Junk 13's Idea."

Slouchy looked confused. "Um, CartoonCaster21? What do you mean _if_ we survive?

"Forget that!" Snappy called, "CartoonCaster21 is out to get my candy! Man the battlements!"

Nat looked at Snappy. "Uh, snap, are you O.K.?

Snappy is curled up in the corner, foaming at the mouth, clutching his Halloween candy to his chest, "My precious, my precious!"

Everyone takes a very, very large step away from Snappy.

Disclamer: I do not own the smurfs. *Joins Snappy in the corner*

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Nat sighed as his arms and legs dangled in the air. _I guess I deserve this. Snappy and Sassette just can't take a joke. _A particularly strong gust of wind blew by him, causing him to begin rocking back and forth.

Our little smurfling was hanging in a large walnut tree. By his underwear. It was not comfortable.

Nat groaned. He was going to get a rash for sure if he didn't get down soon. And there was _no way_ he was getting free by himself. Of course, being discovered like this didn't sound too appealing either…

"Hello, Nat? Are you here?" Nat's head, which had been dangling lifelessly by his limbs, shot up. That was Hefty's voice! Papa must have sent him to come look for Nat! He was saved, he was rescued, he was discovered, he was-

Aw smurf.

Luckily, Nat didn't need to decide whether to try to get Hefty's attention or stay silent, because for some strange and rather funny reason that will not be mentioned, Hefty decided to look up.

Hefty' eyes grew wide as he saw the smurfling dangling above him. Nat nervously waved down at him, "Hi, Hefty."

"…"

Hefty burst out laughing. He had expected Nat to be slacking off on his chores to hang with nature, not to hang _in_ nature. "Ha ha ha! Nat, would you (snicker) mind explaining why you are (chuckle) hanging in a tree (snort) by your undersmurfs!"

If Tailor had put a hyena to shame (Chapter 2) then Hefty embarrassed the entire species.

"Alright, you little hickory nut, stop smurfin' get me down from here!"

Nat knew it hadn't been a good day to wear his white undersmurfs with green hearts and "I Smurf Nature" writen on the back.

** That Night...**

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Nat slowly walked through the village, trick or treat pail in hand. He was dressed all in red, wearing an eye patch, and a hat with skull and cross bones; a wooden sword dangled at his waist.

His pail was full, the other smurflings were nowhere to be found (they had left earlier to "go to bed"), and Dentist Smurf had retreated into his home early in the night to have a conniption. Nat suddenly came to a stop, confronting a fork in the road.

To the left sat The Smurfling's mushroom. Even from here, you could tell it smelled of sugar and roasted walnuts. Bright lights twinkled in the windows, welcoming visitors.

To the right was Grouchy's house. The old walnut tree's branches, black against the full moon, splayed out behind the mushroom. Several types of thorns wrapped around the door, crooked and brown. No light shined in the windows; instead, darkness seemed to spill from the house before rushing off into the forest, leaving eerie shadows in its wake.

Nat groaned and turned to the right. Snappy's plan was pretty stupid, if you asked him. Of course, no one ever did. All of this vaguely reminded him of the smurfberry pie incident, and Nat did _not_ want to relive that. Nat groaned again as the house grew closer.

He stopped at the beginning of the black stone walkway. His gaze slid over the landscape, searching for any sign of his friends. Many flickers of light past through the corners of his vision, but he was never able to focus on them.

Nat was thinking many things while he searched, but all of his thoughts stopped when something grabbed his ankle.

Nat cried out as his leg was pulled out from under him. The ground rushed up to catch his body, before he was pulled toward a collection of prickly bushes.

He struggled in vain as an arm wrapped across his back before covering his mouth, preventing even the smallest noise from escaping. The bushes closed in on him, wrapping him in their cruel embrace as Nat's breathing became labored and shallow.

The world was ripped from his line of sight, and his visionbecame dark and foggy. The flickers of light danced across his eyesight freely now, until they too were swallowed by the impending darkness.

And then Nat's heart stopped.

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Muah ha ha! Cliffhanger! I feel so evil! It's a happy feeling :)

R&R, Read and Review! I'll update soon!


	5. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Doom

**Hellooooooooo fanfictioners! I AM BACK! I just got done reading Blue is the New Black, it was so cute!**

**So, on to my totally awesome reviewers!**

**FrittzyCrazy: Thank you, we apriciate it. Right?**

**Smurfs: "RIGHT!"**

**Nat: *Jaw hits floor* "Random Junk 13, I think I'm in love with you."**

**Snappy and Sassette are passed out on the floor in pure terror.**

**Hefty: "I don't eat candy anyway!"**

**Handy: "What about that time you had your face in a bucket of smurfberry candies?"**

**Hefty: "I was, err... inhailing their smurfy sent."**

**Riiiiiiiight Hefty, Riiiiight. Thanks again Random Junk 13!**

**Slouchy: "WHAT! Then how the smurf did I get pulled into this crazy sceme!"**

**Because I'm the author and I say so.**

**Slouchy: "I'M GONNA DIE"**

**Yes, yes you are.**

**Snappy: Someone else is like me when it comes to candy? SWEET!**

**All: take a BIG step away from CartoonCaster21**

**Yes, evil is a GREAT feeling, there is some more in this next chapter. Now may you please release my shoulders, they have lost all feeling.**

**I got you anti-Snappy's a little revenge in this chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Smurfs belong to peyo. I'll be okay. NO I WON'T *wails like baby smurf***

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Actually, his heart didn't stop, but it skipped so many beats one could have easily thought it had. Nat closed his eyes and waited for the end.

"Geez, Nat, you look like you think you're about to die."

Nat's eyes flew open. Was that… no, it couldn't be…

"Snappy?"

"In the smurf. What took you so long to get here?"

Nat looked up at Snappy with _such _relief and joy. His eyes grew wide with wonder and understanding. He would survive; it was all some kind of mistake! He wasn't going to be smurfed! He would live to grow up, to see all of his friends and family again! He was practically glowing with bliss and excitement. He was probably never happier to see Snappy than in that one moment, crouched in the dark green bushes outside of Grouchy's house.

Okay, mushiness over.

Nat punched Snappy in the gut. Hard.

Snappy gasped and gripped his stomach as the force of the blow sent him flying backwards.

"OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOU SCARED ME? I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE YOU SMURF!

Snappy stopped screaming to laugh. Or at least, to make a wheazing sound that sounded slightly similar to laughing. Man, Nat could _punch_.

"Look, buddie, I was just gonna quietly pull you over here, but then I had to cover your mouth to stop you from screaming, and hold you down so you wouldn't hurt anyone. Besides, we were about to decide who goes up to Grouchy's house to knock on the door! We needed you here _now_!"

Nat glared at him. "You're still thinking about you're stupid plan? You could at least show a little concern!"

"Nat, you already punched me in the smurf. Any sympathy I had was lost along with the feeling in my stomach."

Nat's glare softened. Maybe he had overreacted, Snappy hadn't meant to scare him. And he may have smurfed him a little to hard. Just a little.

Sassette, coming forward, pushed her head in between the two smurfs. "Well, now that you two are even, we can decide who's gotta go bother the grouch."

Snappy raised an eyebrow. "He gets a little case of the heebie jeebies and I get smurfed? How is that even?"

Slouchy crawled forward, "Suck it up and deal with it like a smurf, Snappy."

Nat blinked as he realized something, "Hey, you guys are in your regular old clothes!"

Sassette giggled, "Of course, we couldn't go running around in costumes, it would be so unsmurfy! We brought you a spare change of clothes too!"

Nat walked behind a different bunch of bushes, (what is it with all of these bushes?) and changed out of his pirate costume, and into his single strap overals and old straw hat. When he came back, Snappy and Slouchy were smurfing rock, paper, sissors.

Sassette crawled over to Nat and got whupped by him every round. Then Nat moved on to challenge Snappy. The tension was thick between the two. Sweat ran across their foreheads, and their blue hands were cold and clammy. 1, 2, 3…

Snappy made rock. Nat's hand formed a pair of sissors. "Yes!" Snappy yelled as he leaped up, landing in a perfect victory pose, "I am victorious!"

"Now you can be the one to go to a haunted house, annoy Grouchy, and lie to him on halloween night, right after we saw a monster in his window!"

Snappy flopped onto the ground, "Why does the universe hate me?"

"Get smurfing."

Snappy glared at Slouchy (he didn't need any sarcastic remarks), but still slowly picked himself up and began walking towards Grouchy's mushroom.

The house wasn't any older than the others as far as he knew, but the walls were dusty and cracked. Several shingles appeared to be missing from the roof. Vines had overrun much of the house's framework.

Snappy stopped at the large, imposing front door. The dark oak was thick and hard, and felt abnormaly smooth beneath his touch. The doorknob was as black as the sky that rested above him, and shone evily in the faint moonlight.

Slowly, he knocked three times, the action causing the entire house to vibrate like the strings of a violin. The sound thundered abnormally loud, calling out like large brass bells into the night.

Back at the bush, the other smurflings waited quietly for any sign of their friend or Grouchy. They strained their ears, trying to locate even the faintest noise in the deafening silence.

They heard Snappy knock. All noised abruptly stopped. The crickets were cut off mid song, and the wind abandoned its job of making the leaves dance in the starlight. Even their breath was muted.

Then, a blood-curdling scream ran across the land, shaking the leaves on the trees and making the soft earth tremble. A door slammed, and the world returned to silence.

The remaining smurflings were shocked. They stood completely still and contributed to the earie quiet for what felt like an eternity. Then Nat slowly leaned forward, and stuck his head out of the thick bushes.

The faint glimmers of moonlight weren't enough to give a clear picture of the landscape before him. They could reveal one thing, however, with a cruel and stunning clarity.

Snappy was gone.

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**END! Oh, am I evil or what? R&R, be nice, and stay smurfy!**

**Seriously, review.**

**PLEASE**


	6. Into The Lion's Den

**Ah...Hi...He he...**

**Long time no see?**

**Okay, I'm REALLY sorry for the wait...there's really no excuse. I should not have kept you guys waiting so long!**

**Grouchy: SMURF RIGHT!**

**Slouchy: Bad author, bad author, BAD BAD BAD!**

**Me: I am SORRY! I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU!**

**Smurfette: And how?**

**Me: I'm Posting two chapters at once!**

**Papa: Hmmm...I supose that is a proper and fair way of apologising. But you still get extra chores!**

**Me: Umm...You can't do that...I'M the author...**

***All smurfs glare***

**Me: A little hard work never killed anyone. Hee Hee...**

**So, to our reviewers**

**FritzyCrazy,**

**Oh, it was easy, I just cut off the chapter at the worst possible place and left you all to suufer THE WRATH OF THE CLIFFHANGER! Thank you, those are the best kinds of complaints.**

**Nat: *Kneels* Random Junk 13, Will you marry me!?**

**All:...**

***SPLASH***

**Hefty walks away with an empty bucket.**

**Hefty: Problem Solved.**

**Me: Uhh, should Nat be turning that shade of red? It looks dangerous.**

**Gutsy: All o' dis evil is gonna get some smurf hurt. It's just not safe.**

**Me: Because of having CartoonCaster21 constantly cling to my shoulders, they have been replaced by awesome robotic cyborg arms. Behold the SWEETNESS.**

**All: BEHOLDING**

**Me: I love being an author. Anyway, I'm glad you weren't worried. I never thought about Grouchy pulling Nat under...THAT would have been interesting...oh well!**

**Nat: I don't like how cheerful you are about the possibility. Your joy, in fact, scares me. Quite a lot.**

**Snappy: It scares all of us. And WHY do I deserve to be punched in the stomache!?**

**Sassette: Because you tried to scare Snappy by pulling him down into some bushes?**

**Snappy: Good point.**

**Me: Wow...I didn't think this was very funny...VICTORY!**

**Snappy: *Blushes* Bye! Finally someone who apriciates me!**

**Sassette is literally turning green.**

**Nat: How the heck did he get "pulled into this"? HE'S the one who pulled US in.**

**Flamefox2,**

**Thank you, I corrected my spelling. I apriciate the review!**

**CandyGirl and iNatsuBlueCyan789, we all thank you greatly...AHEM!**

**All: *look up from what their doing.***

**Papa: Oh, yeah...Everyone?**

**All: WE THANK YOU GREATLY**

**Me: Much better! Now, who wants to do the disclaimer? Slouchy?**

**Slouchy: Na, I'm good.**

**Me: The question was only a courtasy, Sloucy. You're gonna do it.**

**Slouchy: *groan* The smurfs belong to Peyo, not us. Not, READ LUKE, READ THE FORCE! OR THIS FANFIC!**

* * *

The silence was deafening. All was still. No animals. No wind. Just silence, which was accompanied by a strong sense of fear.

Three of our favorite little smurflings were crouched in a clump of dark green bushes. Shadows surounded them, noiselessly dancing across the ground. The full moon provided just enough light for the smurflings to see each other's expressions. The strange mixture of darkness and white moonbeams made their faces look sunken and worn.

Nat slowly opened his mouth to speak, but Sassette beat him to it.

"WHAT THE SMURF WAS THAT!"

"_Ssshhhhh_!" Both Slouchy and Nat shushed Sassette, but the poor smurfling was in hysterics.

"DON'T YOU SHUSH ME, WHAT HAPPENED TO SNAPPY!"

Nat desperately tried to calm her down, "Sassette, please, we can't help Snappy if we get caught."

"I DON'T CARE!"

Both Nat and Slouchy winced at the volume of her voice. Fourtunetly, before they could go deaf, Sassette quieted down a little. Her words were now only incohearent stutters; it was impossible to discern one word from another.

Slouchy gently put an arm around her, in an attempt to give some small form of comfort.

"What are we gonna do?"

Nat looked at Slouchy quietly for a moment before answering. "I thought that was obvious."

Both Slouchy and Sassette turned to look at Nat, mixed confusion and grief on their faces.

"We go and get him."

Before either of them could protest, Nat leapt to his feet and stormed out of the bushes. As the determined little smurfling marched towards Grouchy's mushroom, his thoughts were only of saving Snappy. They may not have always gotten along smufily, but Snappy was Nat's friend. And Nat was not about to let his friend disappear into the house of a crazed demonic monster for all smurfin' time.

"Wait, Nat-"

"Wait for WHAT Slouchy?"

Slouchy froze, his mouth hanging open. They couldn't wait. There's no telling what would happen to Snappy if they did.

Nat turned around to face fellow smurflings. "We can't go for help. The grown ups don't take us seriously anyway. If you want to leave, then I can't make you stay. But I will not, under any circumstances, let my best friend die."

"But what can we do?" Sassette wailed, "We're just kids!"

"And since when has that ever stopped us?" Nat questioned.

Slowly but surely, both of the doubtful smurflings rose from the bushes, a new confidence filling them.

Nat nodded in approval, before continuing his march towards Grouchy's mushroom. This time, however, his friends followed. As they walked, the shadowes seemed to bend and twist around them, like hands pulling them towards the door that rested at the end of the long walkway. Like they were trying to welcome the smurflings. That being said, the door they now stood before couldn't look any less welcoming.

Nat gulped and slowly reached for the black doorknob. It felt extremely cold, like it was sucking all of the heat out of his hand. He slowly twisted it, his hand rotating with the hard piece of metal, until it stopped. The knob could turn no further. Gently, he nudged the door open. It slid foward with a loud creek, granting them access to the mushroom. Hesitantly, they stepped into the house.

* * *

Snappy twisted and turned in the arms of the thing that had dragged him into the house. The thing had a strong grip. Then, as quickly as the arms had enveloped him, they disapeared. Snappy, shocked by his newly found freedom, dropped to the ground. His breathing was rapid and shallow, his skin clammy, and he was freezing; he was scared out of his smurf. Or it just could be the house. What tempature did this guy have his Heating set to? Negative thirty?

Slowly, he rose off the cold floor and dusted himself off. As he lifted his gaze from the floor, he gave an involintary shudder. He felt so…alone. He was trapped, and no one could help him. Not Papa, not Grandpa, and not his friends. The grown-ups didn't even know where he was, unlike Nat, Slouchy…

And Sassette.

He smiled at the thought of the red haired smurfetteling. He really did care about her, dispite his constant denile at holding any special feelings for her. Maybe if he closed his eyes, and thought really hard about her, he could pretend that she was really there. Maybe…

The creeking of the door startled him out of his daydream. He swung around only to see the door swinging open, the motion pushing a slight breeze against his face. Snappy gave a little squeak and scampered across the hallway.

"Snappy?"

Snappy swung back around to gaze at who had spoken. Nat, Slouchy, and Sassette stood, framed in the doorway, looking shocked. Snappy's eyes grew wide, "Guys!" he called out to them. They all ran forward to greet one another, but no sooner had their fingertips touched, than the door slammed closed. They heard the lock slide into place.

They were all trapped.

* * *

**R&R! I wanna know how this chapter went! THANK YOU ALL!**


	7. For Slouchy

Alright, here's that extra chapter I promised! Enjoy!

* * *

The Smurflings stood in the middle of the halway, barely daring to breathe. How could they have been so _stupid_? They should have proped the door open, broken the lock, done anything to ensure their escape. And now, they were paying for their thoughtlessness.

Suddenly, the sound of soft footsteps filled the air. Regardless of their gentle volume, the thumping in their ears was like a bass drum. The cruel beat echoed inside of their skulls, beating against their thoughts and pounding out all reason. Then the sound stopped.

"Are you gonna sit there cowering like a bunch of scaredy-smurfs, or are you gonna get up and wipe your feet? You're getting mud all over my clean floor."

There were mixed emotions at seeing Grouchy hovering over them.

Slouchy took one look at Grouchy before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted.

Sassette's jaw dropped so low, you could fit Brainy's ego inside of her mouth! Ha ha, just kidding. Nothing's big enough to hold Brainy's ego. Lets just go with a good sized pig instead.

Nat still trembled with fear, refusing to look at the older smurf.

Snappy, however, was angry. Furious, even. Who did this smurf think he is? He smurfs him, traps his friends, and then has the audacy to repremand them for getting his floor dirty? What the heck?

Snappy lept to his feet and glared at the older smurf. Grouchy wasn't very muscular or tall by smurf standards. He was, in fact, quite short and slight. But the aura of power and hate that he generated was so immense, that he could stare down even Hefty or Gutsy when he wanted to. So it was only natural that Snappy looked like a little mouse staring up at a giant elephant.

"You monster!" Snappy shouted, "Who do you think you are? What do you want from us?"

Grouchy quirked an eyebrow at the boy. This only infuriated Snappy further.

"WELL?"

Grouchy nelt down to Snappy's level, maintaining eye contact all the way down. Without hesitation, he whispered, "I think I'm Grouchy Smurf, and I want you to wipe your feet before coming into my house."

Snappy's head vaguely reminded Nat of an exploding volcano he had once seen in a book. Was that actual steam pouring out of Snappy's ears?!

"YOU SMURFNAP ME AND TRAP MY FRIENDS, AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS YOUR STUPID FLOOR!?"

Looks like that volcano just blew its top. Eat your heart out, Mount Saint Helens.

Grouchy's expression remained neutral. "I didn't do any of that."

Snappy froze, suddenly bewildered. "What?"

Grouchy nodded, "I didn't smurfnap anyone. And no one's keeping you here. You can leave anytime"

Snappy narrowed his eyes. "Why should we believe you?"

"Uh, Snappy, can I talk to you?" Without waiting for an answer, Nat jerked Snappy to his side, "We kinda have a problem…in case you haven't noticed, Slouchy is sorta _passed out _over there," Nat jerked his head in the direction of Slouchy, who layed limp on the floor while Sassette checked his pulse, "I know you don't like it, but we need Grouchy's help."

"Help with WHAT? We just need ta' take Slouchy and get outta here! You smurfed Grouchy, no one's stoppin' us!"

Nat rolled his eyes. "We can't carry Slouchy all that way! We're not strong enough! And where would we go? I don't think Papa would be very happy if we showed up at his front door in the middle of the night with an unconsious Slouchy in tow."

"Better than havin' him here!"

"Snappy, if we drag him around while he's like this, he could get seriously hurt! Grouchy's an adult…a totally creepy adult, but an adult. He probably knows what to do. We need to trust him, for Slouchy's sake."

Snappy closed his eyes and groaned. One conversation had turned all of his emotions from pure rage to extreme pain. He had one heck of a headache. He opened his eyes to look at Slouchy, and his gaze softened. His friends were his first priority, as they always would be. He knew what he had to do. And, though it sounded like something Grouchy would think, he hated it.

"Alright. For Slouchy."

* * *

**R&R!? INCONCEIVABLE!**


	8. Ask Away

**Me: Hey! I Updated! Okay...This "Lateness" thing has got to stop. I seriously need to update more often.**

**Slouchy: I'd call it a "Laziness" thing, but whatever. The point is, YOU WAITED A SMURFIN' MONTH TO UPDATE! WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THAT?**

**Nat: SERIOUSLY!**

**Me: Okay, okay! I'll update more often! Let's just get to the reviews.**

**Gutsy: Don' tink yer off o' de hook yet lassie! We'll talk o' 'bout dis later.**

**Me: *Gulp* alright, but I get a ten second head start!**

**Gutsy: Three seconds!**

**Me: Five?**

**Gutsy: Deal!**

**_Random Junk 13 _****_12/4/12 . chapter 6 _**

**_Oh and Hefty(Smacks him upside the the head) Be nice 2 Nat!_**  
**_Me: Glares at the strong Smurf!_**

**Hefty: OWWWW! Okay, I'll be nice, I'll be nice!**

**Gutsy: Wus.**

**Hefty: *Trembles under the glare of Random Junk 13***

**_Random Junk 13 _****_12/3/12 . chapter 6 _**

**_Sure Nat(Gives him another kiss) ;):D_**

**_Oh Nat is so brave!:D_**

**Nat: WOOOOHOOOO!**

**Papa: Nat, you're way to young to get married.**

**Nat: A guy can dream, can't he? *Puffs out chest* Yeah, I ****_am _****pretty brave, aren't I?**

**Me: Woah there, Nat, we only need one Vanity Smurf.**

**Snappy: Since when do we even need one?**

**_CartoonCaster21 _****_12/3/12 . chapter 6_**

**_Thank smurfness you updated...my hands were getting tired from grabbing at your shoulders for so long..._**

**_Wait a second...OMS! YOU UPDATED! YOU SMURFIN' UPDATED! OHMISMURF ITS A SMURFIN' MIRACLE! THERE MUST BE A BLUE MOON OUT TONIGHT! *Cheeks out the window* Nah, its regular ol' moon. Oh well, I guess all that matters is YA UPDATED! THANK YOU FOR THIS!_**

**_Seriously, I'm really, really enjoying this story (I'm evil) LOL _**

**_Aw, I like the term "Smurfetteling" - truth be told, I don't like calling the girls "Smurf", I'd much rather call them a more feminine term and you, my spooky-writing friend, have just written a perfect one ;)_**

**_Of course I appriciate ya Slouchy! Your one'a my favs! *Hugs him* Your so adorable! How could I not appriciate your adorable lil' cuteness? X3 And Nat, don't go blaming this on Slouchy, we all know Snappy is the real trouble-maker here._**

**_OMG! Their trapped! NNNOOOOOOOO-!...Do I see another chapter in need of reading?...MUST READ!_**

**Me: You didn't see a blue moon? I saw it!**

**Smurfette: And it was really smurfy!**

**Me: OMS...Oh my smurf? I like it! I'm gonna need to borrow that sometime. I never liked calling her "smurfling" either. The way I see it, The Smurflings is their group name. That's why you may see it capitalized (sometimes incorrectly).**

**Slouchy: *Blushes* Geez, thanks a bunch!**

**Nat: You have a painfully good point there. SNAPPY!**

**Snappy: *Hides***

**_Guest _****_12/4/12 . chapter 7 _**

**_If I was one of the smurflings I would have brought a crow bar, grappling hook , and a lock pick and if I wanted to leave I would Etheier break the lock with the crow bar or is the grappling hook to climb the chimney or jump out the window open or not_**

**Sloucy: Why didn't WE think of that?**

**Me: Because we would have been left without an interesting plot line.**

**Slouchy: Oh.**

**_Kaleigh _****_12/3/12 . chapter 7 _**

**_MUST READ MORE_**

**_Candy Girl _****_12/4/12 . chapter 7 _**

**_Great chapter! I forgive you for not updating for so long. LOL_**

**Me: Thanks gils, I love your reviews! I hope you become regular readers!**

**_Random Junk 13 _****_12/3/12 . chapter 7 _**

**_Oooh can't wait 2 C what happens next!:D_**

**_Oh Snappy if you keep losing your temper like thst I might not give you any candy ever agian!_**

**_Nat I think you desurve a reward 4 being able 2 calme Snappy down!;)(Gives him another kiss and 2 bags of candy):D_**

**_Poor Slouchy you get a bag of candy 2!;)_**

**Snappy: I'll behave I'll behave I'llbehave I'llbehaveI'llbehave I'llbehaveI'llbehaveI'llbehave I'LL BEHAVE!**

**Nat: *Blushes* Thanks! And I got a trophy too!**

**Snappy: You WHAT?!**

**Nat: ;)**

**Slouchy: Thanks! *Munches on candy* Yummy!**

**_CartoonCaster21 _****_12/3/12 . chapter 7_**

**_NNNNOOOOOOOO! SLOUCHY! *Grabs him and holds him close* You monsters! How could you?!_**

**LOL jokes, I just get overprotective for my fav characters ;) Seriously though...he better be OK *glare*...XD**

**OK, this was halarious, I was smirking and chuckling. Seriously, dude, the FLOOR is what your worried 'bout?...Wow...just wow...XD And I died at the "Brainy's ego" comment. NOTHING is bigger then that. Heck, its got Jupitar, in size, beatXDDD **

**Please...please...please...PLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS SSSSSEEEEE update soon! For Slouchy's sake AND mine?! Don't make me grab your shoulders again! **

**Keep up the smurfy awesomeness! ;D**

**Slouchy: *Is grinning like a maniac* Yeah, how could you?**

**Me: Don't worry, he's fine.**

**Snappy: A little TOO fine, if you ask me.**

**Me: *Whaps snappy over the head* NO SPOILERS! Again, I didn't think I could write humor very well, if at all. All the comments about this being funny are a pleasant surprise!**

**Grouchy: What? I'd just finished polishing them! And they could've wiped their feet off! I do have an unwelcome mat ya' know.**

**Me: Don't you mean a welcome mat?**

**Grouchy: No. What the smurf is a WELCOME mat? It sounds sappy.**

**Papa: That would explain the lack of visitors...**

**Me: I just polished my robotic arms! I don't need to get another pair! (Yes, I still have them. I'm keeping them on, too!)**

_**FrittzyCrazy **__**12/3/12 . chapter 7**_

_**YES! Shes BACK! I KNEW IT! Pay up people! **_  
_**Very Nice chapter! The last one was excellent as well. **_  
_**Please Update Soon!**_  
_**FrittzyCrazy**_

**Smurfs: *Give various amounts of candy, money, and nic-nacks to FrittzyCrazy***

**Me: OH COME ON!**

**Nat: Well, here we go! Smurfs belong to Peyo.**

**Gustsy: ONE, TWO, THREE...**

**Me: *Begins running***

**Gutsy: FOUR, FIVE! Wait 'till I catch ya', lassie, yur' gonna be BEGGIN' ta' update!**

**Me: HEEELLLPPP!**

* * *

Grouchy nelt over Slouchy, who, ironically, regained consciousness about ten seconds after the Smurflings agreed to stay. It had only taken a few minutes before Slouchy was sitting up and complaining about the cold tempature of the floor.

Before the Smurflings could change their minds and leave, Grouchy had gingerly picked up Slouchy, cradling him in his arms like a newborn baby. This shocked the smurflings. They had never seen Grouchy be so…gentle.

Grouchy walked down the hallway and disappeared into the shadows. Hesitantly, The Smurflings followed.

They immerged into what appeared to be a living room.

The plush carpet was long and thick, reaching several inches above the Smurfling's ankles. A large sofa sat in front of a _humungous_ fireplace, along with a loveseat (oh, the irony…), and a large, well cushioned chair that looked like something a James Bond villain would sit in while stroking a fluffy cat.

The entance to another hallway gave the smurflings a clear view of another hallway, which branched off into the back of the house. Of course, one specific feature stood out quite clearly.

Everything was black.

Every piece of furniture, the carpet, even the walls were black. Only the various shades of red accenting the room gave a change in color.

Grouchy had set Slouchy on the couch, and was now covering the poor smurfling (who was weakly protesting) with a thick (black) blanket. He then sat himself the large villain's chair, and stared at the roaring fire.

The Smurflings approached cautiously. Seeing their hesitance, Grouchy chuckled. He beckoned them over, eyes twinkling in the firelight.

Snappy was the first to approach him. He walked forward warily, as is expecting Grouchy to leap forward and tackle him. Once he had reached the couch safely, he scrambled up into it and sat beside Slouchy. Nat and Sassette were soon to follow.

Soon, all of the smurflings were bundled together on the couch, snuggling deep inside of the thick, fluffy blanket.

Nat took in his surroundings. The dark colors, while expected, weren't all that unpleasant. In fact, they gave off a rather comforting vibe. The room was quite large, and there was pleaty of open space. Nat frowned. He had been expecting an array of torture devices contained in a dungeon-like room with skeletons hanging from the walls.

Not to say that the black wasn't dark and mysterious. The red only increased the amount of potential scary in the room. But he still found himself lowering his guard. He just felt _safe _here.

How big of a mistake was that?

Slouchy gazed at his fellow smurflings. They were all huddled together into the blanket he had been given. He was surprised that they hadn't tried to run yet. Of course, they may not get very far. If Grouchy chose to keep them there, then they'd stay there. _We'll need to play it safe,_ he thought, _in case he's dangerous. Running may only anger him._

Slouchy wasn't surprised at Sassette and Snappy's cuddling. He wasn't totally oblivious, which was something you'd have to be to miss the romance going on between those two. How funny it was that the only people who seemed to be in major need of a pair of glasses were Snappy and Sassette themselves.

Snappy was experiencing several emotions. He was furious that they had to stay, but happy that Slouchy was better. And he didn't like being so close to Grouchy.

But he was ecstatic about being so close to Sassette.

He had his arms wrapped around the cute little smurfetteling. His hand had curled around her neck and was playing with one of her pigtails. Snappy had tried to get the hand to stop, but it seemed to have rebelled against him. You couldn't really blame him, though. Afterall, it wasn't _his _fault he had been cursed with disobedient appendages. _Yes, _he thought,_ rebelious body parts. That's why I'm gently nuzzling her cheek. And think her hair smells nice. Like apples and cinnamon...mmm._

Sassette sighed happily. Snappy was holding her (holding her!)in his arms. She couldn't help blushing at how, well…_romantic _Snappy was being. She certainly hadn't been expecting him to fiddle with her pigtails. It didn't feel all that bad, to be truthful…but she didn't have a crush on him! Not at all.

She didn't shiver when he touched her, or feel sparks race up and down her arm when their hands touched. And she certainly didn't ever imagine what it would be like to kiss him.

Nope. They felt nothing, nada, zip, zero. Nooo romantic feelings what so ever were held for each other.

Let's move on with the story before somebody chokes on all of the denile that's floating around.

The sound of Grouchy repositioning himself in his chair caused Snappy's head to spring up. He glared at Grouchy, his arms tightening around Sassette (rebelious appendages!) as he glared across the room.

"What?" Grouchy snapped.

"We have a couple questions to ask you."

Grouchy smirked, infuriating Snappy. The smurfling prepaired himself for what would definetly be a long and brutal argument. He was getting some answers, whether Grouchy liked it or not!

"Okay."

Snappy blinked. That hadn't been long. Or brutal. Or an argument. He had to say, he was a little disapointed.

"Ummm…alright…"

"What, expecting a blunt refusal?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Well, I am not against satisfying your curiosity, if only so you'll feel free to leave," Grouchy crossed his legs, eyes twinkling, "Ask away."

* * *

**Me: *Hiding* Well, there it is. Now, If I could only get past Gutsy...**

**Gutsy: THERE YOU ARE! YOU GET OVER HERE!**

**Me: EEEEP! HELP ME! AND R&R WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!**


	9. Questions

**ME: HEELLOOOOOOOOO Fanfictioners! I am back! And I've updated in a reletively decent amount of time!**

**Smurfs: HUZAH!**

**Me: AND, drum roll please...**

***bum bum bummmmmm***

**Me: WE GOT THE MOST REVIEWS FOR A CHAPTER WE'VE EVER GOTTEN!**

**Everyone: WOOO HOOO**

**Me: I'd like to thank all you fantastic reviewers out there who made this possible. We really, really appreciate it. As a reward, you all get...A SMURF HUG!**

**Smurfs: *hug* :D**

**Gutsy: GRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAANNNNNN...**

**Me: Aw, did wittle Gutsy-wutzy get a bitsey boo-boo**

**Gutsy: A BOO-BOO!? THOSE THREE GIRLS THREW ME INTO A TREE!**

**Me: Serves you right, you chased me all the was to the river smurf!**

**Gutsy: THEY JUMPED OUTTA NOWHERE AND BEAT THE SMURF OUT OF ME!**

**Me: *Sigh* yes, and I am eternally grateful to them for that. Lets look at those reviews again.**

_**Random Junk 13 ****1/3/13 . chapter 8 **_

_**Sweeet New Chapter!:D**_

_**GUTSY STAY AWAY FROM THE AURTHER!(Jumps between auther and Gusty punch's the scottish smurf in the face sending him flying) THRETON THEM AGAIN AND MUCH MORE THEN PUNCH IN THE FACE!**_

_**Me:(turn's 2 auther) Sorry about that, If he ever bothers you again let me know and I'll beat the crap out him K!;) **_

_**Smurf's:(Sweat Drop)**_

_**Me:Before I go(Leans over 2 give Nat another kiss);) **_

_**L8R!**_

_**Candy Girl **__**1/4/13 . chapter 8 **_

_**James Bond villain, I could so imagine that.**_

_**Gutsy! You can't hit a girl! But a girl can hit you. *smacks him on the head***_

_**prinesskat67089 **__**1/12/13 . chapter 8**_

_**im really enjoying this story and snappy and sassette admit it yor in denial [me slaps gutsy round the face] stop chasing my friend you jerk!**_

**Me: *Sniffle, sniffle* Girls, know that these reviews will always hold a special place in my heart. I will treasure them forever.**

**Gutsy: Oh, for the love of smurf...**

**Nat: Gosh, I've never had a girlfriend before...**

**Hefty: SHE IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND! YOU'RE WAY TO YOUNG!**

**Me: HEY, HEY! Cool it, guys. The only pairing allowed on-screen is SnappyxSassette. Speaking of which...**

**Snappy: WE ARE NOT IN DENIAL!**

**Me: So you two admit you have feelings for each other?**

**Sassette: *blushing* NO! **

**Me: Then you're in denial.**

**Jokey: Hyuk, hyuk, she's gotch ya' there!**

**Snappy: Why I outta...**

**Me: Moving on...**

_**Random Junk 13 **__**1/3/13 . chapter 8 **_

_**Almost forgot (Gives Grouchy a a bag of candy);)**_

**Grouchy: I hate saying this, but thanks.**

**_Kaleigh _****_1/3/13 . chapter 8 _**

**_FINALLY grouchy black get some colors ive seen you smelling pink roses why dont you get some my 3ds screen is so tiny :P Smurf-out! peace!_**

**Grouchy: I do not smell pink roses! And why would I put them in my house? They all smell so...Flowery-ish.**

**Me: Seriously? That's the best sarcastic remark you can think of right now?**

**Grouchy: HEY! I'm not the one who had us stay up 'till smurfin' one o' clock in the morning to finish this chapter and then had to re-write this entire author's note.**

**Me: *Blushing* Yeah, and the moral of that story: Don't procrastinate and always save your work.**

**_babysmurfrock _****_1/11/13 . chapter 8_**

**_Great story can't wait for the next chapter_**

**Harmony: I will thank you by playing a song I recently composed!**

**Me: And I will thank you by giving you these smurf-head shaped earplugs. DUCK AND COVER!**

**Harmony: WWWWAAAAAOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEII IIIIRRRRRAAAAAMMMNNNNOOOOOWW WW!**

**Grouchy: IT BUUURRNNNSS! WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT KIND OF HORN MAKES THAT KIND OF SOUND, ANYWAY? THAT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE A TRUMPET!**

**Brainy: I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE BLEEDING OF MY EARDRUMS!**

**Me: *Sticks Sloppy's sock in Harmony's horn* I think that's enough thanks, Harmony.**

**selene-rose ****_1/10/13 . chapter 8 _**

**_Smurflings, don't be so scared of Grouchy! *Hugs Grouchy* Poor lil smurf, you're just a tragically misunderstood Frankenstein creation, aren't you? *Pats head* Here's some very ancient and rusty weapons I found in my closet. You need to channel your anger Grouchy, bottling it up could lead to severe psychological distress later. ;)_**  
**_We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all smurfs are created equal, and all readers require a speedy update to ensure their domestic tranquility._**  
**_Good luck and God bless!_**

**Grouchy: *Sniffle* yes, yes I a- WAIT A MINUTE, A FRANKENSTEIN WHAT?!**

**Me: Creation, she called you a Frankenstein creation. And nice show of literary knowledge. Not a lot of people realize that Frankenstein was the monster's creator, not the monster. The monster had no name...**

**All Smurfs: *SNOOORRRREEE***

**Me: Oh, it's not that boring...**

**Brainy: Zzzzzzzzzz**

**Me: COME ON!**

**Grouchy: I AM NOT A- are those weapons?**

**Me: NOOOO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, selene-rose!?**

**Grouchy: Relax! For smurfs sake, it's not like I'm gonna main anysmurf!**

**Me: You said that last time.**

**Grouchy: FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT, AND THE GUY WASN'T PERMANENTLY DISFIGURED! Geeze, something like that happens ****_once _****and you never hear the end of it!**

**Hefty: Ya' don't wanna know. I was there, and trust me, ya' don't wanna know.**

**Clumsy: Golly, how does she know the declaration of smurf-fanfiction-rights?**

**Painter: Maybe zee mademoiselle is a heeztorioon.**

**Clumsy: Uuuhhh**

**Me: Historian, Clumsy, historian.**

**Clumsy: Oh. Well, I guess she could be, maybe.**

**Me: Ya never kno-HARMONY!**

***Harmony's face is turning green***

**Painter: Zee fumes moost be soofacateen 'eem!**

***Hefty and Handy carry Harmony out on a stretcher***

**Gutsy: How did ya' even get one of Sloppy's socks?**

**Me: I know a guy.**

_**Lazy smurf **__**1/15/13 . chapter 8 **_

_**Do you smurflings think grouchy is so scary now. I never thought anyone would think Grouchy was scary. But I can't disagree with snappy about what he said earlier in the story about how can u be scared who pouts like a 2 year old everyday**_  
_**Grouchy: Hey!**_  
_**No offense in any way Grouchy besides your still my favorite smurf and allways will be my favorite smurf *kisses Grouchy on the tip of his nose***_  
_**Grouchy: *blushes* **_  
_**Well until the next chapter smurf y'all later**_

**Me: Well, that's the purpose of fanfiction, to share ideas that only you can come up with.**

**Papa: Quite right, Lulaby.**

**Snappy: He doesn't just pout, obviously.**

**Hefty: Yeah, he blushes too!**

***All look at Grouchy, who is still blushing from Lazy Smurf's kiss***

**Grouchy: W-well, I, ummm...**

**Hefty: *snicker***

**Me: *Whaps Hefty on the head***

**Hefty: HEY! What was that for?!**

**Me: Would you rather have me whap you on the head, or face a bunch of infuriated fans?**

**Hefty: *Gulp* good point...**

**_FrittzyCrazy _****_1/3/13 . chapter 8_**

**_Good Job! I really liked this chapter, and I especially liked the_**  
**_"Let's move on with the story before somebody chokes on all of the denile that's floating around."_**  
**_Sheer genius! I hope you can update soon!_**  
**_P.S. Oh, and Good luck, you'll need it. I hope you can get away from Gutsy!_**

**Me: Thank you, I tend to enjoy some "sheer genius" quality humor myself. Thank you for the luck, and as you can see, Gutsy was jumped by three totally awesome fangirls and beat up before being thrown into a tree.**

**Gutsy: More like three totally insane fangirls...**

**Me: Listen buddie, I'm about ****_this close _****to having you make some sexist jibe about how girls are lesser than boys and suffer the consequences, so don't make your life any bleaker than it already is, okay?**

**Gutsy: Uhh, Y-y-yes ma'am!**

**Me: I love being the author!**

**_Lazy smurf _****_1/3/13 . chapter 8 _**

**_Well this is funny and interesting at the same time I can't wait until the next chapter_**

**Me: Your wish is my command, Ha ha!**

_**babysmurfrocks **__**1/15/13 . chapter 8 **_

_**Seriously grouchy is everything in you house the color black or is it that you won't turn the lights on.**_  
_**Grouchy: I don't know I haven't turned the lights on for a month now**_  
_**Me: a month seriously don't you ever run into anything? **_  
_**Grouchy: no**_  
_**Me: ok then well I am not mad at you because your still my favorite smurf *hugs and kisses grouchy on the cheek* **_  
_**Grouchy: *blushes***_  
_**Sorry I am to lazy to log in right now.**_

**Vanity: WHY IS HE GETTING ALL THE FANGIRLS?!**

**Grouchy: Do you see your name in the character description column? No, you see mine. This is my story, and therefore, my fangirls visit it.**

**Vanity: Humph!**

_**Baby smurf **__**1/16/13 . chapter 8 **_

_**I agree with babysmurfrocks on this how come every thing in your house is the color black besides the chair which is red**_

**Grouchy: Because A: I like black and B: it fits the story plot.**

**Me: I don't recall saying that the chair was red...nothing wrong with that, I just don't remember...**

**Hefty: Let me look it up *gets on laptop* No, no mention of a red chair.**

**Me: Okay, so I'm not going insane, that's good.**

**Gutsy: Or more insane, at least.**

**Me: This is fanfiction, home of the insane people.**

**Hippy Smurf: True 'dat, man.**

**Gutsy: Where da' smurf did 'ee come from?!**

**Me: Hippy, if you would?**

**Hippy: Da' smurfs 'long ta' Peyo, man. Dig this story!**

* * *

The fire roared, bright and loud. The dancing flames cast flickering shadows across the five smurfs sitting in the spacious mushroom. Four of them were huddled together under a plush black blanket, while another sat across from them, looking surprisingly friendly. Or, at least, as friendly as you can look when your expression could be matched to that of a starving cat looking at a bowl full of plump goldfish.

Needless to say, this sufficiently freaked out The Smurflings. They didn't let it bother them too much though. It's not like Grouchy was gonna eat them or anything, right? Right?

…right?

Snappy was cuddling with Sassette, absent-mindedly nuzzling her hair with his nose. He was obviously lost in thought, no doubt thinking of all the things he wanted to ask Grouchy.

_Now, what to ask first? _Snappy thought, _Why are you such a pain in the smurf all the time would probably make him a teensy bit angry. Angry enough to throw us out…_

As it turns out, it was Nat who asked the first question, Not Snappy.

"Why did you walk away?"

Grouchy raised his eyebrows, "Pardon?"

"When we hit you with the smurfball, why did you just walk away? You didn't tell Papa Smurf, or lecture us. You didn't even get mad!"

Grouchy replied, "We don't all feel the need to babble to a superior or pointlessly berate others for such an insignificant matter like _some_ smurfs, *_Cough__***,**_Brainy, *_Cough* _. And as for not being angry…well, I have better things to do than to take my frustrations out on little children."

Snappy frowned. He didn't like how Grouchy called them "little children". It made him feel like a baby, and he was _not _a baby. He was old enough to fall in love, wasn't he?

_Wait, WHAT?! _Snappy thought, _Where did__** that**__ come from? Actually, I don't want to know. Maybe I shouldn't be smurfing so close to the fire, the fumes must be doing something to my brain. _

In an attempt to distract himself from his unwilling admittance to his (obvious) love of Sassette, he didn't hesitate to ask the next question.

"Why don't you open your door to anyone on Halloween?"

Slouchy rolled his eyes. There was no beating around the bush with this smurfling, was there? And in this particular situation, they couldn't afford to irritate Grouchy. And Grouchy was very easy to irritate. So he was a little surprized at the equally forward, polite answer Snappy got for his question.

"Because I don't give out candy, and like to see them try to get me to open the door for that silly little prize Greedy offers to give out every year. It's quite funny, if a bit pathetic. One person even told me that Baby was in trouble once, can you imagine that?"

If Grouchy noticed the sudden awkward movements and shifting eyes that came from The Smurflings, he didn't say anything about it.

Slowly, Sassette spoke next.

"Why don't you give out candy?"

"Because I never saw the point. I've never been one for holidays, really. I just can't bring myself to show some…" here Grouchy winced, as if the next few words could bring him actual, physical pain, "…holiday spirit."

"Oh," Sassette replied. Everything grew silent in the mushroom, save for the roaring fire. The silence was more contemplative than awkward. Grouchy's thoughts wandered off to who knows where, and The Smurflings tried to figure out how to state their questions without offending Grouchy.

Snappy was unsurprisingly the first to give up.

"Why are you such a grouch?"

You could practically feel the exasperation and horror radiating from the other three smurflings. Of all the things to say, Snappy had to say that?

Grouchy's eyes flashed with emotion for a moment. He had been anticipating this question, but hadn't expected it to be asked so outright so soon.

"We are what life has made us out to be. I am no exception."

The Smurflings were now confused. What did that mean? And why was he sounding like some ancient prophetical prophesizer, or whatever you called those people?

However, they could somehow sense that it was best not to pursue the subject for the time being. Slouchy then asked a question that seemed totally irrelevant to the situation at hand.

Snappy spoke again, "Why did you drag me into your house?"

Grouchy snorted and rolled his eyes, "Because you were standing in the open doorway in the middle of late fall. I have a fire going for a reason; I don't want cold air coming into my house. Come in, stay out, or I'm deciding for you."

Snappy blushed, "Oh," he said meekly, shifting awkwardly in his seat, which greatly disturbed Sassette. A long, uncomfortable quiet followed.

Slouchy broke this silence with a question that seemed totally irrelevant to the situation at hand.

"So…know any good stories?"

The smurfling received awkward looks from his peers, while Grouchy quietly chuckled.

"Yes, quite a few. Though, I usually prefer to tell non-fiction. Makes the story seem all the more fantastic when you know it's real."

This provoked several astonished looks from The Smurflings, looks which only grew in strength at Slouchy's next question.

"Would you mind telling us a few?"

For a fleeting moment, a strange look passed over Grouchy's face. There was no telling what it was, but there was a definite softness to his tone when he spoke next.

"No. I wouldn't mind at all."

* * *

**Me: Well, see you! R&R!**

**Hippy: Dig those reviews, man. Hug a tree, recycle, and let the 60's live forever!**

**Gutsy: SERIOUSLY, WERE DID HE COME FROM?**


	10. The Snake In The Water Bucket

**Me: Heya people! I'm back!**

**Smurfs: ...**

**Me: What did I do this time?**

**Sassette: YOU WAITED TOO LONG TO UPDATE AGAIN!**

**Grouchy: I HATE too long to update!**

**Gutsy: Dis' is gettin' outta hand, lassie.**

**Me: HEY, HEY! I had a good reason this time.**

**Snappy: Oh yeah? And what reason would that be?**

**Me: I was attacked by a vicious beast.**

**Brainy: Oh please...**

**Clumsy: Gosh, are you alright?**

**Nat: What kind of animal attacked you?**

**Me: Not an animal, Nat. No, I was attacked be a writer's worst nightmare. The horrible monster known as WRITER'S BLOCK!**

**Painter: Le gasp!**

**Poet: Oh, the horror, THE HORROR!**

**Me: Yes, it took me a month to get over that attack. Thank goodness it only lasted that long, I've heard of cases going on for years! (no joke, this can happen).**

**Sassette: Hoppin' hickory nuts, that's a long time to loose your passion for writing.**

**Me: Yeah, it was bad. Even when I'd felt like I could write again, I felt no inclination to continue this story.**

**Clumsy: You mean you were gonna...*Gulp*...drop the story?**

**Papa: CLUMSY! There are children here! This is already a scary story, they don't need anymore nightmares!**

**Me: Drop the story? NEVER! I would never abandon my readers! Though it may take a while, I will always deliver what I promise to bring to the table of fanfiction! I even made this chapter twice as long as the others! It's over a thousand words!**

**Papa: Good thinking.**

**Me: I think it's time to answer reviews.**

**_FrittzyCrazy 1/22/13 . chapter 9_**

**_Great Chapter! Yay! She updated in a reasonable amount of time! ITS A MIRACLE!(Just Kidding) I think that Hippy's so nice. Please Update Soon._**

**Brainy: The sad thing is, it IS a miracle.**

**Me: I would smack you if you weren't right, Brainy.**

**Hippy: I can dig it, man! Coolio.**

**Gutsy: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!**

**Me: Moving on...**

**Gutsy: DO YOU COME IN PEACE?**

_**babysmurfrock 1/22/13 . chapter 9**_

_**I did enjoy this chapter my favorite part was when snappy asked why grouchy dragged him into his house all the way to the end of the chapter. Well I have some other things to do so smurf y'all later but before I go *kisses grouchy on the tip of his nose***_

**Me: That WAS a good part, and I enjoyed writing it!**

**Grouchy: *blushes***

**Gutsy: You'd think he'd be used to all the attention his not-as-many-as-Gutsy-has fangirls give him.**

**Grouchy: Grrrr...**

_**Lazy smurf 1/22/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**I enjoyed this chapter. I can't wait for the next one and seriously who did you get one of sloppy's socks from. Well I got to go but before I go *kisses grouchy on the tip of his nose again* smurf y'all later**_

**Me: Sorry, but that's confidential.**

**Sassette: Pleeeeaaaasssseee?**

**Me: Nope, sorry. *cough* the wicked witch of the west *cough***

**Grouchy: I definitely don't wanna know.**

**Snappy: I DO! And so do the readers!**

**Me: That's a story for another time.**

_**Random Junk 13 1/22/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**Awww What a sweet chapter! :) **_

_**ME:(Turns 2 Gutsy) Well Guts learned your lesson(Smiles triumphantly) But if you ever try something like that again and I'm playing Smurf Ball with a certain smurf, if you know what I meen.(Glares at scottish smurf) If you don't I could always show you.(Show's him my fist) **_

_**Gutsy: GULP (Starts shaking like a leaf) Y.y.y.y.y.y.M. !XP**_

_**ME: (Turns back 2 author) Thanks again 4 the awesome chapter! :) (Turns 2 face Nat and gives him another kiss and a bag of candy) Thats 4 being such a good boy. (Smiles sweetly) Oh and Hefty (Smacks him in the the face) If Nat wants 2 have a crush on me then let him. Oh and I almost 4got (Turns 2 Grouchy and Slouchy) Heres some more candy 4 the both of you!:) And just 2 B nice I've decided 2 give every1 "Cough minus Hefty, Gutsy, Snappy and Sassette Cough" a bag of candy (This includes the author) :) **_

_**Snappy and Sassette: HEY WHY NOT US!**_

_**ME: YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPEND! (Calms down and turns back 2 face author) Anyways thanks again! :) L8R**_

**Gutsy: Why would I be afraid if she wanted to play a game with me?**

**Me: I think when she said with you, she literally meant "with you". With you as the ball, that is.**

**Gutsy: *gulp***

**Nat: HURRAY FOR RANDOM!**

**Hefty: OW! Okay, okay, I'll back off on the little squirt. A little.**

**Me: Hefty, I need you alive for other stories.**

**Hefty: Fine, a lot.**

**Nat: 3 (this is supposed to be a heart.)**

**Smurfs: Thanks!**

**Clumsy: This is great!**

**Greedy: Sure is!**

**Nat: What happened with Snappy and Sassette?**

**Poet: Beats me...OH MY SMURF!**

***Author is about to eat candy***

**Grouchy: YAAAAHHH! *grabs candy***

**Smurfette: Oh, thank smurfness, that was close!**

**Me: HEY! I was gonna eat that!**

**Gutsy: We know, lass. Why do ya think we took it?**

**Me: I don't get THAT crazy when I have candy.**

**Grouchy: I beg to differ.**

_**Babysmurfrock 1/22/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**Thanks for the earplugs I don't think I could have taken Harmony's music **_

_**Sorry I had to log out or I could not comment**_

**Harmony: What did she mean, "wouldn't be able to take it"?**

**Me: Er, she meant...wouldn't be able to take it's awesomeness...**

**Harmony: *sigh* the life of a fantastic musician is filled with both greatness and tragety.**

**Brainy: Yeah, fantastic like-**

**Me: -NEXT!**

_**PlayStationFan17 1/23/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**Wow what a story, Keep it up! :D **_  
_**I've always loved Grouchy, he's one of my ultimate fave's.:D**_

_**ME: (Turns 2 Gutsy) G Gutsy you r a jerk if your threatening girls like that. **_  
_**ME: (Smacks him upside the head)**_  
_**Gutsy: Owww**_  
_**ME: May that, and what all the other girls put you through be a lesson 2 you(HMPH) **_

_**Anyways, like I said this is AWESOME! :D **_  
_**Let me know if you'll be doing any sequels this k. ;)**_

**Me: Okay, although I think this review is awesome, it brings up a question I've been putting off: to sequel or not to sequel?**

**Nat: Huh?**

**Me: I may have been planning on ending the story with a giant cliff hanger...**

**Grouchy: Oh, no you weren't! Not even I'M that evil!**

**Me: It's true. But now I'm reconsidering. Oh well, I'll see what I can do.**

_**Candy Girl 1/23/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**Awesome story!**_

_**And remember, if Gutsy try's to hurt you again...He shall suffer worse punishment. **_

_**Anyways, update soon! 8D**_

**Me: I'll let him know when he stops hiding in the closet.**

**Gutsy: *In closet* I'm not coming out until I know I'm safe!**

**Me: You wanna know a good way to stay safe?**

**Gutsy: What?**

**Me: DON'T ATTACK GIRLS IN A STORY WHERE MOST OF THE FANS ARE FEMINISTS!**

**Gutsy: YIPE! Okay, okay!**

_**Babysmurfrock 1/23/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**If you need anymore of sloppy's socks you can ask me I had to clean his mushroom and believe me you do not want to go in there *shudders for disgust* it is horrible. Well smurf y'all later but before I go *kisses grouchy on the tip of his nose again***_

_**Sorry I have to still comment when I am logged out because you can't comment on the same chapter more than once**_

**Vanity: Oh, you poor thing, going in that horrible place!**

**Snappy: You went in there? AND LIVED?**

**Brainy: Absosmurfly astounding.**

_**selene-rose 1/30/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**N'awwwwww. Such a sweet ending! Hopefully the Smurflings will bond more with Grouchy in Ch. 10. RIGHT? RIGHT?**_  
_**And yes, Frankenstein was the doctor. I'm glad you know that. He created a monster, which was FULL OF SORROW and longed to be ACCEPTED and maybe given a HUG. Grouchy reminds me of that...thing. And Quasimodo. Wow, he reminds me of a lot of people! O-o**_  
_**I love how the smurflings are written! Frightened, yet proud, and curious, all at once. You've definitely captured the mind of a preadolescent. And Snappy, for the love of Smurf, just admit you love Sassette!**_  
_**Smurf out and happy un-birthday to you!**_

**Me: RIGHT! RIGHT! I put in extra bonding at the end just for you! I too felt a lot of sympathy for the monster...until it went around killing everyone to get revenge, that is. Then I just pitied it. And Grouchy is a lot more like that monster than you think. If you keep following my stories, you'll see what I mean!**

**Snappy: Why thank you, yes, us smurflings really are wonderfu-Wait, WHAT? I don't love her!**

**Me: *whispers* Won't be able to say that after the future kissing scene...**

**Snappy: WHAT?**

**Me: Oops, what a spoiler I am! ;)**

**Mad hatter: A very merry un-birthday, to you, to you! A very merry-**

**Grouchy: SHUT IT!**

_**Lazy smurf 2/2/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter but until then smurf y'all later but before I go **_

_**Me: *kisses grouchy on the tip of his nose***_

_**Grouchy: *blushes***_

_**Baby smurf 2/2/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**I really enjoyed this chapter. I can't wait for the next one so Plzz update soon**_

_**Brainy smurf 2/2/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**I am really enjoying this story. Plzz update soon**_

_**Babysmurfrock 2/4/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**Plzz update soon**_

**Me: Thank you all, and I ADORE every one your reviews!**

_**babysmurfrock 2/19/13 . chapter 9 **_

_**Oh yeah I also wanted to do this **_

_**Me: *smacks Hefty on the side of his head***_

_**Hefty: Ow what was that for**_

_**Me: well for one thing leave grouchy alone it is not that funny that he blushed for the first time and I know he is not the only smurf I have seen that blushed before, really it is not that funny and second because I wanted too.**_

**Hefty: WOW, she's mean!**

**Grouchy: WOW, she knows how to dish out justice!**

**Me: Well, I'm sure this next chapter will make Hefty and Gutsy veeeerrrryyyyy popular.**

**Gutys: Dat's sarcasm. I'm afraid now.**

**Hefty: You're not the only one, buddy.**

**Me: Enough with the talk, it's time to READ! Smurfs belong to Peyo. Excuse me while I go have an emotional breakdown. WAAAAAAHHHHH!**

* * *

"You want to tell us about the time you _what_?

"The time I dropped Hefty into the village well."

"…"

"What? Not interesting enough?"

Slouchy raised his eyebrows. "How are you still alive?"

Grouchy shrugged. "He never knew it was me."

Snappy snorted. "How were you able to pull that off?

Grouchy shrugged again. "The guy was being a jerk, so I…ahem…made sure he _accidentally _ended up taking an unexpected "trip" when no one was looking." Snappy rolled his eyes. "Nice," he said, "Now, how 'bout a _real_ story?"

Grouchy narrowed his eyes at the little smurfling, giving him a spectacular glare. "Why wasn't that a real story?"

"It was more like a summary. A very short one at that."

Grouchy sat back, frowning. Silence enshrouded the room, causing Nat and Slouchy to mentally kick their brother. They were trying to learn how to have a civil conversation with Grouchy. It had been going well until Snappy had opened his mouth.

Suddenly, Grouchy snapped his fingers, a wry grin plastered over his normally scowling features. The effect was…strange, to say the least, seeing as Grouchy never smiled. _Never_.

"Have any of you ever heard of the snake in the water bucket?"

The Smurflings all blinked simultaneously.

"Noooooo…"

"Well, I wouldn't expect any other answer. The entire thing became very hush-hush after it happened. They didn't want to cause smurfs unnecessary panic."

"I'm assuming you were responsible for this as well?"

"NO! Of course not!"

"…"

"Maybe."

"…"

"Okay, yes."

"I knew it."

"Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Fine. Let's see if you can actually tell a good story."

_**Flashback**_

"_Hey, Gutsy!"_

_The Scotsman, who was drawing water from the village well, glanced up at the Strongsmurf calling his name. Without pausing in his work, he answered, "What is it Hefty?"_

"_You'll never believe what I just saw!"_

_Gusty quietly groaned at his brother's antics before calling out at him again, "What?"_

"_Grouchy…Grouchy was...heh-heh…he was…ha HA!"_

_Now, Gutsy was feeling rather irritable because he had spent what felt like hours reeling in the well's bucket because some idiot (Brainy) had added waaaayyyy to much extra rope to the bucket's usual length without telling anyone, leaving the Scotsmurf to toss the entire thing down the well and then gather it back up by himself. _

_So naturally, Gusty was in no mood to deal with his brother's rather pathetic attempt to speak._

"_Look, either say it or shut the smurf up. I'm kinda' busy here-"_

"_Okay, Mr. Grumpypants, I'll tell ya'. I saw Grouchy…"_

_When his brother paused for dramatic effect, Gutsy simply turned around and ignored him. However, a deaf man couldn't miss what was said next._

"…_singing and dancing in the forest."_

_Gutsy froze. For a long minute, he stood completely still, utterly shocked at what he had just heard. Slowly, very slowly, he turned around, and the saucer plates some people call eyes met Hefty's gaze. For a long moment, they stared at each other in silent, serious contemplation._

_Then they burst out laughing._

_They clutched at their sides as tears streamed down their faces, their lungs getting the workout of their lives._

_When they had calmed down enough to form coherent sentences (and it took a looooooonnnnnng time), they leaned back against the well, happily rubbing their aching midsections._

"_I can't wait to tell everyone about this!" Hefty exclaimed._

_Gutsy shot a look at Hefty before getting up to continue pulling out the bucket from the well. Hefty blinked, slightly shocked at the cold shoulder he was receiving. "What?"_

_Gutsy, after finally retrieving the old wooden pail, set it on the edge of the well before sitting himself down next to it. "Nothin'. I was jus' thinkin'…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_If we told people, they'd tease Grouchy."_

_Surprised at this sudden concern for their fellow smurf, Hefty immediately composed himself, actually considering the effects of this fact._

_Gutsy continued, "And then Papa would hear about it…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_And then no one would be able to laugh about it anymore."_

"_I guess not."_

"_But if we didn' tell anyone, then Papa wouldn't hear 'bout it."_

_Hefty smirked when he realized the Scotsmurf's reasoning._

"_No, I suppose he wouldn't."_

"_But if no smurf knew what we were teasing him 'bout-"_

"_-And Grouchy certainly wouldn't tell them-"_

"_-then we could laugh about it a bit longer."_

"_I like your thinking."_

"_Why, thank you my dear. Now, marry me?"_

"_Of course darling, I would love to."_

_Then Gutsy scooped Hefty up and carried him off to be wed in holy matrimony-_

"WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE!"

Grouchy looked over at Snappy, who had at some point untangled himself from Sassette and was now sitting beside her, trying to kill Grouchy with his eyes. Maybe living with monsters had made him immortal or something, because the other Smurflings sure as heck didn't know how he wasn't writhing on the floor in pain.

"Okay…I may have gotten a little bit carried away…"

"YEAH, YA' THINK?!"

"Let's try that again."

_**Re-Flahback**_

_To recap, Hefty and Gutsy weren't in love, and definitely weren't getting married. Sorry for any mental scarring._

_Now, Grouchy had just come back from the forest, sincerely hoping that Hefty had completely forgotten about seeing him there._

_No such luck._

"_Hey, ballerina!"_

_Grouchy winced. That wasn't Hefty's voice…_

_Surely enough, the Strongsmurf had told the Scotsmurf. Wonderful._

_Luckily, barely anysmurf was around, and those who were had learned that they should ignore the two brother's antics if they wanted to keep their sanity intact. As it was, it seemed that Crazy was seen in their immediate vicinity a little too often._

_Grouchy looked up, only to see the two smurfs who were quickly becoming the bane of his existence resting by the village well._

_Life officially hated him._

_Grouchy could only stand there, mortified, and watch Hefty open his mouth impossibly wide and imitate what looked like a monkey on sugar high singing bad opera while Gutsy preformed a surprisingly good bourree (those tiny steps ballerinas take) with his eyes rolled back into his head and his eyelashes fluttering._

_If you're taking the time to thoroughly imagine this scene, then you may want to take a break to die from laughter. We'll wait 'till you come back as a zombie before beginning again._

_All good? Let's continue._

_Hefty and Gutsy eventually had to leave before their lungs burst from laughing and made a big mess, and the rest of the smurfs had cleared out long ago, so Grouchy was left alone._

_Eventually, his eyes came to rest on the bucket sitting on the edge of the well, completely forgotten._

_He smirked. **Smurf fun of me, will you?** He thought._

…

_Water splashed from the bucket into the River Smurf, creating such a crazy series of ripples that several miniature tsunamis appeared._

_Grouchy continued on down the bank, keeping his eyes trained on the marshy ground. Nosmurf would annoy him here; it was too far away from the village. Of course, there were things in this area of the forest that you couldn't find anywhere else. In this case, long, scaly, moving things._

_Spotting a flash of color in the yellow reeds, Grouchy's hand darted forward, grasping the wriggling animal. "Gotcha'!" His hand retracted, scratches littering his knuckles from the spiky green leaves that sprouted from the long yellow stalks._

_In his grasp rested a long, thick snake, glittering gold in the sunlight, the bright markings covering its body twinkling like emerald stars._

_Gently, he lowered the creature down in the now empty water bucket. He then plastered mud over the animal, successfully camouflaging it. At first glance, all one would see would be a particularly dirty and completely empty pail._

_Before long, the snake was sitting back at the village well, right where Gutsy had left the bucket._

Now, as some of you know, snakes are cold-blooded, and therefore get sluggish in extreme cold and heat. When Grouchy picked the snake up, it was in the middle of the afternoon on a very hot summer day, and so the snake was in a comatose state. That, combined with the naturally docile nature of the snake's species allowed Grouchy to remain unharmed. However, the wet, cold mud cooled it down significantly, so by the time Gutsy came back, the snake was much more temperamental.

…

_Gutsy scooped up the pail, swinging it back and forth as he walked._

_The Scotsmurf was in a better mood than he had been all month. Hearing about Grouchy's sudden interest in the performing arts had certainly put a bounce in his step._

_Cheerfully, he called out to Hefty, who was waiting by his doorway._

"_Hey, buddy! What's up?"_

"_Nothin' much. What's with the bucket?"_

"_Aw, I left da' thing by da' well earlier." He gave the pail a heavy smack. "Jus' had ta' go get it."_

"_Hey, Gutsy, can I come in?_

"'_Course. Why?"_

_Hefty looked down guiltily before speaking._

"_One or more of my favorite dumbbells may have somehow ended up flying through your window."_

"_What?! How in da' smurf did dat' happen?"_

"_I don't know! Somesmuf musta' thrown it!"_

"_You didn't?"_

"_NO!"_

_Gutsy shook his head and opened his door._

"_Alright, alright. Why don't you stay for lunch?"_

_He knocked heavily on the brown bucket, having no idea what was actually hidden inside._

"_This is gonna make me some soup."_

_After they marched in, Gutsy threw the bucket onto the table. Hefty peered inside, squinting at the bottom of the pail._

"_Hey, Gutsy?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_There's something weird at the bottom of this thing. I can't quite figure out what it is."_

_Confused, Gutsy joined his brother, practically breathing down the bucket and successfully spitting on the snake. The animal then decided that it had put up with Gutsy's abuse long enough. It reared up, golden underbelly flashing, and gave the smurfs a vicious hiss._

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

**WHUMP**

The Smurflings had been so into the story, that they had leaned forward in order to hear better. Snappy in particular had been enjoying the tale, and so had been the one to first one to fall.

Connected by the fluffy red blanket, the rest of the Smurflings soon tumbled after him. Unfortunately, the blanket had gotten caught on a loose thread. With a sickening tearing sound, a large gash spread down the middle of the couch.

The Smurflings looked from the couch to Grouchy, two thoughts taking up most of their thought process.

_Oops_, and _Uh-oh_.

Grouchy stared down at the Smurflings, as if he couldn't believe what they had just done. Then, slowly, very slowly, he stood up and walked over to them. Kneeling down, he quietly inquired, "Are all of you alright?"

Speechless, each of the Smurflings nodded. Glancing back at the ruined couch, Grouchy sadly shook his head. "Well, you certainly can't sit there." He got up and quietly plodded back over to his seat, settling back down and leaving four very confused smurflings on the cold, hard ground. Were they just supposed to sit on the floor now?

When nothing happened, Grouchy sighed, outstretched his hand, and silently beckoned them forward. Realization gripped the Smurflings like a bat securing itself to a cave wall.

So _that's _what he wanted them to do.

Nat was the first one to venture forward, perhaps because of his history of traveling into the dens of possibly hostile animals (despite warnings from Papa). Soon, he was standing nervously before the large, poofy chair, unsure of how to get on the tall piece of furniture. He let out a yelp of surprise when Grouchy tenderly picked him up and set him on his lap.

Although the Smurflings didn't enjoy being coddled, they decided that it was better to just do what the scary monster smurf wanted. One by one, they were all pulled up on the chair, and one by one, they relaxed against the larger-but-still-small smurf.

And they all sat, curled up against each other, warm and comfortable.

* * *

**Me: Well, there it is, R&R! By the way, I have a poll in my profile, and I'd love it if you'd contribute to the results! The name of the poll is "What Is Your Favorite Smurf?". Thanks! Hippy, smurf us out!  
**

**Hippy: See you Earthlings later! *beams up into space ship***

**Gutsy: I KNEW IT!**


	11. The Return of Red Eyes

Me: HI SMURF LOVERS! GUUUEEESSS what I hate!

Hefty: Last time we played this, you hurt people.

Brainy: We're still rebuilding the village. And the forest. And the Swoofs are making us pay for all uninsured spaceship damages!

Me: You all stink at this game.

Snappy: I don't know how they could. Grouchy plays this ALL THE TIME.

Grouchy: No I don't!

Snappy: You might as well.

Me: Do I NEED to get out the mallet again?

Smurfs: NO!

Me: Anyway...GUESS!

*chirp, chirp*

Me: HOMEWORK! I HATE HOMEWORK! Geez, is this an audience of ice or what?

Gusty: I'm pretty sure people jus' didn' wanna risk loosin' their smurfs.

Me: I swear, I had so much. And that week long head cold!

Sassette: Didn't you just get back from a trip to the zoo?

Me: MOVING ON TO REVIEWS!

**_Babysmurfrock 4/7/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_Yeah again about sloppy's mushroom another reason i survived you should check out my room it is like world war three in there you guys are allowed to come and look at my room any time If you want to see my point. Oh yeah and Hefty I can be mean when I am in a bad mood which I was and believe me when you have over 10-30 cousins that either live where you are or live some where else you are in a bad mood when they come over and destroy your room and make it more messy than usual or they annoy you to your death. Well that's all I have to say so Plzz update soon and smurf y'all later but one more thing *kisses grouchy on the tip of his nose again*_**

Me: Yeah, we know. Handy went over there to check it out. *looks over* How is he, Doc?

Doctor: I think he might wake up from his mess induced coma! Eventually...

Sassette: How long has he been out?

Me: He went to see the room on Saturday. Sorry about your cousins. Me room has become a total off limits zone. No one goes in there, and I don't even lock my door!

Vanity: It's all about the impression you give.

Grouchy: *Blush*

_**Brainy smurf 4/6/13 . chapter 10 **_

_**I hope you can update soon**_

**_Baby smurf 4/6/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_I can't wait for the next chapter I loved this one_**

**_Lazy smurf 4/6/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_Plzz update soon this was an Awsome chapter I can't wait for the next. Well got to go smurf y'all later *kisses grouchy on the tip of his nose*_**

**_PlayStationFan17 3/25/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_Thanks again 4 the chapter BTW ;)_**

**_Random Junk 13 3/22/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_Oh I almost 4got *gives Nat another Kiss*;)L8R_**

Me: Thank you! Thank you! You're all totally amazing, wonderful reviewers!

Nat: *Blush*

Grouchy: *Blush*

Snappy: Hey, look, you two have matching faces!

Red Eyes: *Glares*

Snappy: EEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! Where did he come from!?

Me: I think this was a point I should make now, so I brought in R.E. You also made him mad by sounding stupid.

Brainy: Um, and the point?

Me: OH, oh yeah. Well, I could tell from reviews that you all thought that Grouchy was the source of the red eyes commonly seen. And, he is! Or maybe not...

Snappy: Wait, so now we gotta deal with TWO psycos? That's messed up.

Me: I never confirmed anything! Let's see what the readers think.

**_PlayStationFan17 3/25/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_Wow Gutsy And Hefty really are jerks (glares angrily at them)_**

**_And my favorite smurf's are_**  
**_Top 10 in order :D_**  
**_1. Grouchy _**  
**_2. Painter_**  
**_3. Smurfette_**  
**_4. Brainy_**  
**_5. Clumsy_**  
**_6. Handy_**  
**_7. Greedy_**  
**_8. Lazy_**  
**_9. Papa_**  
**_10. Harmony_**

Me: YES! I love reviews that have a little personality in 'em. GROUCHY LOVAS IN DA HOUSE!

Grouchy: Don't try to be street. It hurts.

Hefty: WE ARE NOT JERKS!

Me: ...

Hefty: Okay, so we may be a little bit jerkish at times...

Gusty: But id's all in good smurf! Right Grouchy?

Grouchy: *Glare*

Gutsy: Uh...heh-heh...

**_Lazy smurf 3/23/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_another great chapter i hope you can update soon and hopefully by then i not have the mental scarring anymore. Well got to go smurf y'all later but before i go *Kisses Grouchy on the tip of his nose again*_**

Grouchy: *Blushes*

Hefty: Oh, you might heal? That's great. Yeah, LUCKY for YOU!

Me: It wasn't so bad...

Gusty: I still have nightmares...

Grouchy: Must not blush, must not blush, must not blush...

**_babysmurfrock 3/23/13 . chapter 10 _**

**_Yeah i still cant believe it my self Sloppy's mushroom is a terrible terrible place. I swear even the bugs died in there. Well i am not there now and i am going to enjoy living and breathing and i have other things to do so smurf y'all later but before i leave *Kisses Grouchy on the tip of his nose again*_**

Me: The stink didn't bring the bugs back to life as zombie-bugs? Wow, Sloppy's been spring cleaning.

Nat: Yeah, living and breathing don't exactly happen in there, do they?

Grouchy: I could get used to the fangirls.

_** babysmurfrock 3/22/13 . chapter 10**_

_**Another great chapter keep it up** _

_Oh yeah I almost forgot _

_*smacks Hefty and Gutsy on the side of both of their heads*_

_Hefty&Gutsy: Oww! Serouisly _

_Me: Yep that was for laughing at Grouchy it really was not that funny_

_Hefty: well we thought it was_

_Me: *glares at Hefty and Gutsy* well I got to go before I hurt those 2 but before I do *kiss grouchy on the tip of his nose again*_

Hefty: I'm pretty sure that hurt us.

Me: You're pretty sure?

Gutsy: We'll let ya' know afta' we get feelin' back in our heads.

Grouchy: Will you please explain to the readers what I was ACTUALLY doing?

Me: Nope! They'll learn eventually.

Hefty: What?

Grouchy: You don't actually think I'd be dancing, did you?

Gusty: Dat was a plot point, wasn' it?

Me: Yep.

_**Random Junk 13 3/22/13 . chapter 10 **_

_**Oh my it's looks like I might get play smurfball with Gutsy And Hefty after all**_  
_***smiles evilly at said smurf's* **_  
_**Both: *Gulp***_

_**I thought it was funny when Grouchy maid it look like Hefty and Gutsy were getting married, it was scary but funny all at once**_

_**Thanks again 4 updating I'm glad 2 know your over your writers block! :)**_

Me: Thanks! Yep, the writer's block is long gone...and has been replaced by end-of-the-year homework overload!

Gusty: FUNNY!? I nearly had a panic attack after reading it!

Hefty: I actually DID have a panic attack.

Me: I'd have thought think with all the Handy/Hefty and Gusty/Brainy stuff going around, you'd have gotten used to slightly strange pairings.

Gusty: ...

Hefty: ...

Me: Uh, guys? Aw, dang it, I think I broke them. Again. *sigh*.

Grouchy: Clumsy's gotta do the disclaimer this time.

Clumsy: Gosh, smurfs belong to Peyo.

Me: Someday, I'm gonna buy them and restart the cartoons!

Doctor: Hey, would ya' help me get Hefty and Gusty on the stretchers please?

Me: Okay, okay, I'm coming.

* * *

Snappy knew it wasn't a good idea.

In fact, he thought it was a very _bad_ idea. Allowing himself to be cuddled like a teddy bear…it was _unsmurfy_. Not to mention, demeaning.

On the positive side, the nearness of the other smurfs gave him a reason to be close to Sassette.

_Oooh no. No no no, _Snappy thought, _we are NOT going down that road again. _Snappy blinked realizing that he had been playing with Sassette's pigtails again.

Nat snickered silently to himself as he looked at Snappy messing with Sassette's hair. He wondered when they would get together. If they didn't admit their feelings for each other soon, he would be forced to grab their heads and push their lips together.

Smiling at the rather funny mental image that thought produced, Nat became aware of a rather distinct smell. Distinct, but not unpleasant. In fact, it smelled really good.

Nat barely had time to process this information before Grouchy stood up, successfully knocking all four smurflings to the edges of the chair.

"The soup," he said, before treading down the hallway and turning into the first doorway on the left.

Curious, the Smurflings hesitantly followed.

They entered the kitchen, for that's what the room turned out to be, and located Grouchy standing in front of a large pot that must have been emitting the wonderful smell that Nat had noticed.

"I won't be long," he called over to them. They jumped. How had he known they were there?

"You can head on back to the living room," he suggested.

Before Nat could walk over and beg for whatever was cooking in the pot (they had all missed dinner) he was grabbed by the arm and dragged back into the hallway.

"WHAT?" He snatched his arm back. He had really wanted some of that soup. Snappy grinned. "Grouchy's busy," he stated.

"I gathered that," Nat said, getting annoyed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"What I mean," Snappy clarified, "it that he's busy. And we're alone. In his creepy house. Unsupervised."

Nat raised his eyebrows. "Yeah. So?" Snappy's meaning clicked. "No, Snappy."

"Aw, come on," Snappy persisted. "Aren't you at least a little curious about what Grouchy's house is like? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"It's an unnecessary invasion of privacy, that's what it is."

"Um, guys, isn't trying to break into his house in the first place an unnecessary invasion of privacy?"

"Stay out of this, Slouchy," the two smurflings chorused.

"Don't be over-dramatic, Nat. What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"I'm sorry; you seem to be having a memory lapse. _We saw a monster looking out the guy's window_!"

"That's the reason we agreed to come in here in the first place!"

"I thought we wanted the prize candy," Slouchy said.

"STAY OUT OF THIS, SLOUCHY!" the two smurflings repeated, albeit rather loudly.

"Well, you can stay here if you want." Snappy crossed his arms. "But I'm gonna go take a look around. You coming, Sassette?"

Sassette looked torn. On one hand, she _knew_ it wasn't a good idea (sound familiar?). But on the other hand, if she went she would get to spend time with Snappy.

Pffffft, as if we need to ask how that would turn out.

"Sure I'll come!" she announced. "It sounds like a really great adventure!"

"I'll come too."

Nat looked at Slouchy, surprised at his willingness to take sides. The smurfling tended to prefer to remain neutral in order to avoid conflicts.

Slouchy shrugged helplessly at Nat. "Sorry, but some smurfling's gotta keep these two from getting themselves killed

Nat stared at the three other smurflings before taking a deep breath, before cursing his luck, and resigning himself to his fate.

"Alright, alright, you win. I'll come."

Snappy's face lit up like lighting cracking over a dark sky. "Great! Follow me!"

Snappy spun around and marched down the hallway. Sassette skipped after him, and slouchy plodded behind. Nat rolled his eyes, and followed.

* * *

Grouchy let out a breathy laugh when he heard the Smurflings talking. They should know better than to argue right outside of the door. When it was open.

He glanced down at the soup only to see the reflection of two large pairs of red eyes gazing back at him. Startled, he whipped around, cursing under his breath.

_And just what were you expecting to see?_

Grouchy blushed a bright red. _I was surprised!_

_Of course you were. Are you really going to let them wander around your house?_

Grouchy turned his eyes back down towards his dinner. _I'm powerless to stop them._

_Until you feed, yes. But that doesn't mean that you have to let them run all over the place like hooligans. _

Grouchy paused here, considering this. _Yes, I do._

_Why do you wait so long? You could have gotten what you needed from them long ago._

Grouchy simply stared at the eyes until they gradually faded out of sight.

_I'll do what's necessary in the end,_ he decided, as he lifted his gaze from the pot to the window in front of him. _I'll have no choice._

He stared out at the starless night before him. Even the moon seemed dimmer than usual. He dropped his head back down and tediously massaged his temples. It was going to be a very long night.

* * *

Me: So, what do you think? Yadda yadda, R&R, thanks for waiting, see ya' next time! This story's just gettin' started!

Gusty and Hefty: Grrrroooaaaannn...

Me: :D Byyyeee!

Red Eyes: *Glare*


End file.
